The Curse of Being “One of the Guys”

I’ve always been a bit perplexed and bewildered at those few, rare guys who somehow in some small way find me somewhat attractive.

I’m neither blonde nor a bombshell. I’m in my 50s now and still on the chunky side. All that said, I’m starting to get noticed more, and that’s beginning to freak me out.

The reason for this, I think, is simple.

See, I have always been “one of the guys.”

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve gotten along better with guys more than with gals. A boy was my first ever best friend and throughout the years I have had more guy friends than gal friends.

As a child I loved playing with Matchbox cars, collecting baseball cards, riding my Big Wheel, listening to hard rock music, and doing things that boys were traditionally expected to do.

I had my share of Barbie dolls and girly toys, mind you, but certainly I wasn’t what you could call a girly-girl.

As I grew older, I continued being one of the guys.

My first two jobs were in retail, and even though I was quite shy back then, I had a lot of guy friend coworkers. They liked me because I could work on my car (thanks, Dad!) and because I had a strong interest in astronomy, among other things…

Oh yes, I had their attention, but not the kind of attention I wanted.

I was one of the guys, which meant I was surrounded by guys. But there seemed to be a line none of them wanted to cross with me, and the reasoning, I think, was this.

Nobody in their right mind ever dated one of the guys.

So strange and painful for me to accept. I mean, what was wrong with me? Could I have been THAT ugly?

(Me, mid-1980s at home in Atlanta)

In the past year or so, it seems that I’ve been getting a lot of attention.

I don’t know what has happened, but it seems like guys “see” me now. Like, really see me. I’m no longer a guy in girl’s clothing. The attention I’ve been getting lately is a bit jarring.

I’m not complaining, mind you. I’m just unsure how to understand and accept it after a lifetime of being one of the guys.

Who knows? All I do know is I feel good about myself for the first time ever. Maybe that’s something to do with it? I dunno. Just living my life and learning to roll with the changes.


The Books Are Here!

Copies of my first little book of poetry arrived today and I am so excited.

It is cool to see these poems put together in book form.

Flash Boom Bang is available now at Amazon.

Some of these poems came to me in the 1980’s and never left me.

Others are freshly written.

All show a side of me not often seen by the world.

My hope is that this little book of poems inspires the reader to create their own works and share them with the world.

Life is art. The world needs art.

Make your art and allow yourself to shine.